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Grandma Tries VR for the First Time

just some shits & giggles

"This reminds me of the time that I was trapped in a water bed"
-Portlandia

"It's not even a real strip club! It's a car wash with a room in the back"
-SNL

"If I was on a desert island and could only have one book, I'd choose "Atlas Shrugged." Because that's 1,088 pieces of toilet paper"
-Stephen COlbert

"You poor woman. Dealing with Bart has turned your mind to ketchup water. You rest."
-Homer, The Simpsons

"It's Friday. Brain, you're out. Liver and wallet, you're in."
Men's Humor- twitter

"LIZ: My bunions are out of control.The doctor says the only explanation is that one of my ancestors mated with a dinosaur."
-30 Rock, liz lemon

"Can two people fall in love over a benign gonad cyst?"
-30 Rock


I went to see this guy at the laugh factory in La jolla and he was sooo funny. I loved it!

House Quotes

Clinic Patient: My nature isn't what it used to be. The little man has lost some bounce in his step. He needs to crank it up, have himself some fun this weekend. He wants the blue pills.
House: You're talking about your penis in the third person.

John Henry Giles: I know that limp. I know the empty ring finger. And that obsessive nature of yours, that's a big secret. You don't risk jail and your career to save somebody doesn't want to be saved unless you got something, anything, one thing. The reason normal people got wives and kids and hobbies, whatever, that's because they ain't got that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I got music. You got this. The thing you think about all the time. Thing that keeps you south of normal. Yeah, makes us great. Makes us the best. All we miss out on is everything else. No woman waiting at home after work with a drink and a kiss; that ain't gonna happen for us.
Dr. Gregory House: That's why God made microwaves.

Dr. Wilson: Some doctors have the messiah-complex they need to save the world. You, you have the rubics-complex. You need to solve the puzzle...

Last night..

"Olivia, you've been a bad influence since the day you made me eat cat food."

Jan. 31st, 2007

"Bro’s before ho’s. Why? Because your bro’s are always there for you. They’ve got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you were nothing but great to your ho. And you told her that she was the only ho for you and that she was better than all the other ho’s in the world. And then…and then suddenly she’s not your ho no mo’."
-The Office

This one kicks ass!




and an excerpt from my FAVORITE show, "The Office"

Oscar: We don’t even have to have a party…

Michael: No, hey, hey, don’t be ridiculous. Of course we’re going to have a party – the celebration of Oscar. Oscar night! And I want it to be Oscar-specific.

Oscar: Michael, I…

Michael: No, no. I mean…not because you’re gay. Your gayness does not define you.

Oscar: Thank you.

Michael: Your Mexicaness is what defines you, to me, and I think we should celebrate Oscar’s
Mexicanity. So Phyllis, I want you to go find firecrackers and a Chihuahua. Pam, in the frozen food section Swanson’s makes a delightful chimichanga.

Oscar: Why don’t you have me riding in on a donkey?

Michael: Ah, a burro. Of course, if Oscar wants a donkey let’s get him one.