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House Quotes

Clinic Patient: My nature isn't what it used to be. The little man has lost some bounce in his step. He needs to crank it up, have himself some fun this weekend. He wants the blue pills.
House: You're talking about your penis in the third person.

John Henry Giles: I know that limp. I know the empty ring finger. And that obsessive nature of yours, that's a big secret. You don't risk jail and your career to save somebody doesn't want to be saved unless you got something, anything, one thing. The reason normal people got wives and kids and hobbies, whatever, that's because they ain't got that one thing that hits them that hard and that true. I got music. You got this. The thing you think about all the time. Thing that keeps you south of normal. Yeah, makes us great. Makes us the best. All we miss out on is everything else. No woman waiting at home after work with a drink and a kiss; that ain't gonna happen for us.
Dr. Gregory House: That's why God made microwaves.

Dr. Wilson: Some doctors have the messiah-complex they need to save the world. You, you have the rubics-complex. You need to solve the puzzle...

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Funny quotes, amusing stories and jokes!

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